Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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