yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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