You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
