apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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