There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Walk of Shame today included voting.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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