wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
