the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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