so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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