1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
