We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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