Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
