thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Girls should come with a carfax report
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
