Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
