Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
