wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
home. puking in laundry basket.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
