hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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