Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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