I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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