yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
