the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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