Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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