Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize