You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
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Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
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I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.