Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.

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  (847): Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part. http://tfl.nu/ui2p
  Replies (15) Good night (500) Bad night (1246)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Betty ford says i'm here all night

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  (215): Betty ford says i'm here all night http://tfl.nu/rxoa
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Ontario

  Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up

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  (416): Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up http://tfl.nu/zoaj
  Replies (26) Good night (1026) Bad night (2860)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.

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  (321): Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance. http://tfl.nu/ue6b
  Replies (56) Good night (1375) Bad night (2398)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.

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  (832): I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style. http://tfl.nu/zqa3
  Replies (8) Good night (5215) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.

  (1-530): View more from California

  fuck. you.

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  (530): I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight. (1-530): fuck. you. http://tfl.nu/1kgv
  Replies (54) Good night (12139) Bad night (1785)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know

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  (513): im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know http://tfl.nu/k4xw
  Replies (11) Good night (3673) Bad night (1684)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.

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  (860): Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise. http://tfl.nu/z4y1
  Replies (9) Good night (670) Bad night (3949)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??

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  (949): is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute?? http://tfl.nu/snv5
  Replies (11) Good night (7993) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.

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  (919): Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice. http://tfl.nu/je3x
  Replies (5) Good night (2981) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.

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  (201): I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free. http://tfl.nu/mbnk
  Replies (4) Good night (2417) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me

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  (574): It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me http://tfl.nu/pd5w
  Replies (8) Good night (1419) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Whiskey??

  (706): View more from Georgia

  It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...

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  (574): Whiskey?? (706): It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale... http://tfl.nu/yixa
  Replies (2) Good night (693) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad

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  (413): Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad http://tfl.nu/6sd1
  Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.

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  (416): what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/f5ud
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (163)

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