i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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