I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
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I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.