Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
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dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
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Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
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