I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
