he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
