um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize