Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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