do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
