dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
