how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
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Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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