plz talk dirty to me
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Barsexuality is the new black.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
