We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
