I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I love having hate sex.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
