I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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