I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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