I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
