You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I need to calm my uterus...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize