I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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