Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
