we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
