Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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