She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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