I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
