You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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