it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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