YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
