Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
