why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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