He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
