Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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