There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
