So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
