This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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