Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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