Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
