so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
