I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize