I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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