He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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