just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
