You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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