he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
