Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You made out with two different species that night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize