maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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